: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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