note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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