is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
God gave him joint rollers for hands
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
