is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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