I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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