At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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