the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
