That's intense
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
