He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
