Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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