I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
