i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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