i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
