he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
