Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
