Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
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