so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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