He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I need water and some morals
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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