What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
