I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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