there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
soo... how was my night?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
