just come out here and I will go home with you...
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
