Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
