But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
