I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
