halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
