just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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