So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
