We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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