I love black thongs
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
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