our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
