just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
