Porn is love you can see.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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