ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
