we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
