Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
