She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
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