You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
