Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
