Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
