if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
