i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
