I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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