just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
