Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
