I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
id be glad to
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
