i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
