Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
