I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
