you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
