How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
