he wants to bone in the snuggie
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
